Jenna C (missjennabelle) wrote in thehalfwayhouse,
Jenna C

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Hi. I'm Jenna.
This is officially the first time I've ever talked seriously about my weight. Ever. And some of you are gonna think I'm weird, because my aim has never been to be thin. I don't want to be thin. I want to be a healthy weight so I can stop being achy and sick all the time.

Last year (my freshman year in college), I had a huge problem with my weight. Not a "I'm fat!" sort of thing, it was more like I was losing tons of weight and had no idea why. I was eating normally, exercising the same amount I always had... I mean, nothing had changed. I was just losing weight for no reason. I'm 5'8". In September 2003 I weighed around 145 pounds. By February 2004, I was down to around 115-120 somewhere. I had some of the more obvious physical symptoms of anorexia (amenorrhea, fuzzy hair growing on my body to keep it warm, etc.), but I was not anorexic. In February I went on Depo-Provera (birth control), and that helped with the weight. I'm now back up to 130, most of the time. The fuzzies are gone. I don't have my period back yet, but that could be a result of the Depo. But what bothers me is, I can see my ribs. All of them. My ribs, clavicles, spine, shoulder blades... All are clearly defined. They drive me nuts. I mean, I'm back to a point where I only weigh 15 pounds less than I originally did... And none of the bones stuck out back then. Can 15 pounds make such a difference? Is there a way, other than consuming large amounts of fatty food, to make them STOP showing so much? I feel like a walking bare skeleton.

:( What do I do?
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